Teacher's Pets Read online

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  To Mark

  —s. c.

  To Phil

  —J. C.

  Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Notice

  Dedication

  1. Wake Up!

  2. Chompy Chips

  3. Har-Har-Har!

  4. Birds Peck, Cats Hiss

  5. Snip! Snip!

  6. Hoots and Howls

  7. Dancing Dogs

  8. May We Be Excused?

  9. Teacher’s Pets

  10. Two Dogs, Three Cats …

  11. Homework Helpers

  12. Cat Show Catastrophe

  13. The Getaway!

  14. Double Date

  Woof-Ha-Ha! Dog Funnies

  Is Your Reading Teacher a Dog?

  My Dog’s Smile by Stephanie Calmenson

  Wacky Teachers, Wacky Dog by Joanna Cole

  About the Authors

  Copyright

  1

  Wake Up!

  Crash! Bang! The sound of thunder came booming from Kate Farber’s radio.

  That got Kate up fast.

  “Just kidding about the thunder,” said Amos-on-the-Airwaves. “There’s not a cloud in our beautiful Tuckertown sky.”

  Amos liked to keep his listeners laughing.

  Kate grabbed her glasses from the night table and put them on. Her tan frames looked great with her dark brown hair and her freckles.

  Then she grabbed her phone. It was right next to where her glasses had been. Kate was neat. She liked to know where her things were and lined them up in straight rows.

  Kate was also a sensible girl. On school days, she made sure to call her best friend, Lucie Lopez. Without Kate’s wake-up call, Lucie would be late every day.

  Kate speed-dialed Lucie’s number. She knew the special dog-bark ring that would be waking her friend. They both had the same ring. Arfa-arf!

  Lucie and Kate loved dogs, and each wished she could have one. But they lived right next door to each other in garden apartments where the rule was NO DOGS ALLOWED.

  So instead of real dogs, Kate and Lucie had sheets and pajamas with dogs on them. They had socks and underwear with dogs on them.

  Kate had knickknack shelves with little glass dogs. Of course, they were lined up in neat rows.

  Lucie had a collection of stuffed dogs scattered all over her room. Lucie was as messy as Kate was neat. She also had piles of dog books. She had read every single one, so she knew a lot about dogs.

  Arfa-arf! Lucie’s phone was ringing for the third time. Finally she picked up.

  “Hullo,” Lucie said, sounding half asleep. “What’s up?”

  “Obviously, not you,” said Kate. “Hurry or we’ll be late for school.”

  There was silence at the other end.

  “Are you asleep again?” said Kate.

  More silence.

  “Wake up! Wake up!” said Kate.

  “I’m up! I’m up!” said Lucie, almost falling out of her bed.

  “See you outside.”

  Lucie and Kate had been friends since they were little, and they were in the same class at Tucker Elementary School.

  They each got dressed.

  Lucie put on her favorite pink poodle T-shirt. She loved pink. She also loved ribbons. She picked out a barrette that had curly pink ribbons hanging down. She pushed her ginger-colored bangs out of her eyes to admire the ribbons.

  Kate didn’t care much about ribbons. She put on her bulldog T-shirt. Then she quickly tied her hair in two perfect pigtails.

  They didn’t know it, but at the exact same time, both girls were putting on their pink dog-bone necklaces. They were the most amazing necklaces in the universe. Kate and Lucie wore them every day.

  After breakfast, they met outside and started on their way to school.

  “Ms. Lu said we’re going to do something fun today,” said Lucie.

  The girls couldn’t wait to see what their teacher had planned. They walked a little faster. They came to the Lucky Find Thrift Shop just as Mrs. Bingly, the owner, was opening up.

  “Hi, girls!” she called to Kate and Lucie.

  “Woofa-woof!” they called back, touching their special necklaces.

  They had bought them at Mrs. Bingly’s store. Mrs. Bingly would never believe what those necklaces could do.

  They had just passed the Lucky Find when Lucie started sniffing the air.

  “Uh-oh,” she said. “Do you smell what I smell?”

  “You mean Banana-Fandana gum?” said Kate.

  “Exactly,” said Lucie. “And do you hear what I hear?”

  Thunk, thunk, thunk.

  “You mean that bouncing basketball?” said Kate.

  “That would be it,” said Lucie.

  They turned and saw Danny DeMarco and DJ Jackson.

  Danny had the basketball, but he had stopped bouncing it. Now he was holding it up in the air and spinning it on his finger. He was always doing something with that basketball.

  And DJ was always chomping his Banana-Fandana gum. He usually chewed three pieces, but the girls had once seen him put four pieces in his mouth at the same time.

  Sometimes Kate and Lucie had a good time with Danny and DJ, but most of the time, the girls thought they were the two most annoying boys on the planet.

  “Hey, DJ,” said Danny. “Do you see who I see?”

  “You mean the two goofiest girls on the planet?” said DJ.

  “Did he say girls?” whispered Kate, with a gleam in her eye.

  “I believe he did,” whispered Lucie.

  “Woof?” said Kate.

  “Woof!” said Lucie.

  It was time to put their amazing dog-bone necklaces into action.

  2

  Chompy Chips

  Kate and Lucie let Danny and DJ get ahead of them. Then they ducked behind a hedge where no one could see them.

  The girls had discovered the magic of the necklaces by accident the day they found them at the Lucky Find Thrift Shop. Now they knew just what to do.

  Kate and Lucie faced each other. At the exact same time, they said “Woofa-woof!” and gave each other high fives.

  Woofa-wow! That did it! Their dog-bone necklaces lit up. With a pop and a whoosh, Kate and Lucie weren’t girls anymore. They were dogs!

  No matter how many times it happened, they still couldn’t believe it.

  One dog was shaggy with ginger-colored fur that hung down almost to her eyes. The fur looked just like Lucie’s bangs.

  The other dog was white with tan spots, dark brown ears, and a brown patch around the eyes. The spots looked a lot like Kate’s freckles. The dark brown ears were like her pigtails. And the patch around the eyes was like her glasses.

  Instead of their necklaces, both dogs had silver collars with pink dog bones hanging down.

  “We did it! We’re dogs!” said Kate.

  “It’s showtime!” said Lucie.

  They trotted out from behind the hedge, wagging their tails. They ran to catch up with Danny and DJ, then danced back and forth ahead of them.

  The boys had seen them around the neighborhood before.

  “Hey, there are those cool dogs again,” said Danny.

  “Maybe we can get them to follow us to school,” said DJ.

  “Good idea,” said Danny.

  He turned to Kate and Lucie and said, “Dogs, follow!”

  Instead of following, the dogs walked backward away from
the boys.

  “Wait! I know what to do!” said DJ.

  He dug into his backpack and pulled out an open bag of Chompy Chips.

  Boing! Kate’s tail went up in the air. She loved Chompy Chips!

  “Yoo-hoo, doggies!” DJ called, holding one out.

  Shimmy-shimmy-shimmy! Lucie didn’t wag just her tail. She wagged her whole behind. She loved Chompy Chips, too.

  “Come and get it!” called Danny.

  “Chompy Chips are so delicious,” whispered Lucie.

  Kate came to her senses fast.

  “They are not delicious enough to make us go with those obnoxious boys,” she whispered. “Follow me.”

  The dogs raced ahead of the boys and ducked behind the post office.

  Without wasting a second, they barked “Woofa-woof!” as they tapped their paws together.

  Woofa-wow! The dog bones on their collars lit up, and Kate and Lucie were back to being girls.

  “Do you think they’ll give us any chips now?” said Kate.

  “No way,” said Lucie.

  The boys came running. After they passed, the girls came out and caught up with them.

  “Did you see two dogs?” said DJ.

  “Dogs? What dogs?” said Kate.

  “I don’t see any dogs,” said Lucie.

  They rolled their eyes at Danny and DJ.

  “Are you sure you know what dogs look like?” said Kate.

  “Four legs? Furry? Waggy tails?” said Lucie.

  Danny looked disgusted.

  “It’s no use talking to these goofy girls,” he said, turning into the school yard.

  DJ followed, stuffing the bag of chips back into his pack.

  “We knew we wouldn’t get any Chompy Chips,” Lucie whispered.

  DJ and Danny ran over to talk to some of their friends.

  “We’ll let you know if we see those dogs!” Kate called after them.

  The girls linked arms and walked into school with their dog-bone necklaces twinkling in the sun.

  3

  Har-Har-Har!

  Kate and Lucie were walking down the hall toward their classroom.

  “Hi, Sara!” called Kate.

  “Hi, Pete!” called Lucie.

  Then they saw a long blond ponytail swishing up ahead. It belonged to a girl named Darleen.

  “I hope she doesn’t turn around,” said Lucie.

  “Me too. It’s too early in the day for a Darleen-attack,” said Kate.

  Darleen made fun of Kate and Lucie because they were together so much. She liked saying, “Ooh, ooh, stuck like glue,” and “Birds of a feather, always together.”

  Fortunately, Darleen decided to make a bathroom stop.

  “That was close,” said Kate, as they walked into their classroom.

  They looked at the teacher and did a double take.

  “Hey! That’s not Ms. Lu,” said Lucie.

  “Unless she grew a mustache,” said Pete, joking around as usual.

  “And got a new hairdo,” said Ben.

  Julia walked in next.

  “Ooh, a substitute!” she said.

  “Please take your seats,” said the teacher. “But don’t take them far. Har-har-har.” It was a wacky laugh that made the kids want to laugh, too.

  In big letters he wrote his name on the board: MR. ZOLLICALAWAFFER.

  “Zolli-cauliflower?” said Pete, with a big grin.

  “Zolli-collie-wolly?” said Julia.

  “Zolli-wolly-doodle all the day?” said Ben.

  The kids were still trying to read the name when the teacher said, “Just call me Mr. Z.”

  “Thank goodness,” said Kate.

  Kate and Lucie sat down next to each other. Darleen slipped into her seat, which was right behind them.

  “Ms. Lu has the flu,” Mr. Z said. “Hey, Lu! Flu! It rhymes! Har-har-har!”

  “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” whispered Lucie.

  “That we’re going to have some fun today?” said Kate.

  “Exactly,” said Lucie.

  Mr. Z cleared his throat. “Harrumph, harrumph. Excuse me, I have a frog in my throat. And I believe there’s an elephant in my ear. Har-har-har!”

  “I’ve got a duck on my head,” said Pete.

  “You quack me up,” said Mr. Z.

  “Oh, great! Two class clowns,” Lucie said to Kate. “And one’s the teacher.”

  Mr. Z studied some papers on the desk.

  “According to Ms. Lu’s lesson plan, we’ll be learning about animal communication,” he said. “That’s how animals tell each other things.”

  All at once, animal noises came from around the room. Tweet! Meow! Hee-haw! Ribbit-ribbit!

  Kate and Lucie had to work hard to keep from barking.

  “I love class participation,” said Mr. Z.

  “He might be sorry he said that,” whispered Kate.

  Mr. Z continued, “In addition to sounds, animals use body language.”

  “Uh-oh, here we go,” said Lucie.

  Two kids were already jumping like frogs. Another kid was flapping like a bird.

  “I feel like wagging my tail,” whispered Lucie. “Don’t you?”

  “At the moment, we don’t have tails,” Kate whispered back.

  “Whisper, whisper,” said Darleen. “You two sound like hissing snakes.”

  “Ugh. The first Darleen-attack of the day,” Lucie said to Kate.

  “Just ignore her,” Kate said.

  Meanwhile, the kids were getting wilder and wilder. In fact, they were out of control. But that didn’t bother Mr. Z one bit. He talked right over them.

  “For homework, please observe an animal communicating and be ready to tell about it,” said Mr. Z.

  The kids were still making animal noises. Mr. Z talked louder.

  “There is also a class trip in your future,” he called. “According to Ms. Lu, next week you’ll be going to the zoo. Lu! Zoo! Another rhyme! Har-har-har!”

  Mr. Z had to talk even louder than before. In fact, he was practically yelling.

  “At the zoo, you’ll be seeing some wild animals,” he shouted.

  “We’re hearing some right now,” said Pete.

  “Yeah, it’s a jungle in here,” said Julia.

  Growls, grunts, hoots, and howls filled the room.

  Just then the bell rang, and the herd of wild animals went charging out the door.

  4

  Birds Peck, Cats Hiss

  After school, Lucie and Kate stopped in at Mike’s Mini-Mart. They had been thinking about Chompy Chips all day.

  They each picked up a little bag. As they walked to the counter, a magazine about dogs caught their eye. It was called Fetch It! and had a droopy-eyed basset hound on the cover.

  One of the headlines said “Chilly Dogs? Cozy Sweaters for Crisp Fall Days.”

  “I’ve got to read that,” said Lucie, reaching for the magazine.

  “No, you don’t,” said Kate, being sensible as usual. “We already have fur when we’re dogs. And if our moms see dog sweaters in our closets, we’re toast.”

  “Toasty warm,” said Lucie. “In our cute new sweaters.”

  “Enough with the sweaters,” said Kate, rolling her eyes.

  “Maybe I’ll knit one,” said Lucie.

  “There’s no time for knitting. We have homework to do,” said Kate.

  “Oh, all right,” said Lucie.

  They paid for their chips and went to look for some examples of animal communication.

  “The best way to observe animals is to be animals,” said Kate.

  “We’ll get an A for sure,” said Lucie. “Let’s go!”

  The girls went into the alley next to the mini-mart.

  “Woofa-woof!” High fives!

  With a pop and a whoosh, out walked two dogs.

  The white, spotted one pranced quickly down the street.

  The shaggy ginger-colored one stopped to sniff a fire hydrant.

  “Hurry up!” said Kate.
“Don’t be so slow.”

  “Slow down,” said Lucie. “Don’t be so fast.”

  Kate slowed down. Lucie speeded up. And they kept going.

  “Check out those pigeons,” said Lucie.

  “Okay, maybe we’ll see some animal communication,” said Kate.

  Up ahead, a pigeon was pecking at a crust of bread. Another pigeon swooped down and landed nearby. It eyed the bread and stepped closer. The first pigeon pecked faster. The second pigeon went closer. Then the first pigeon fanned its tail. It clicked its beak. It leaped forward and pecked at the other bird. The second bird flew away.

  “Fanning. Clicking. Pecking,” said Lucie. “Excellent communication.”

  “Homework’s done,” said Kate.

  “Let’s go home,” said Lucie.

  The two dogs trotted up the street. They stopped to look at some store windows.

  Up the block, Mrs. Patel was sweeping outside her clothing shop. The girl dogs wagged their tails.

  Then they saw Tiger, Mrs. Patel’s cat. They loved Tiger. He had the softest orange fur. Lucie totally forgot about being a dog and went to pet him.

  “Wait! What are you doing?” called Kate.

  Uh-oh. Too late. When Tiger saw a dog coming at him, he really did turn into a tiger!

  His ears went flat on his head, his back arched, his fur stood on end. He showed his teeth and hissed. Worst of all, out came his claws. Swat! Right across Lucie’s nose.

  “Ouch!” said Lucie.

  “I tried to warn you,” said Kate.

  “I’ll be okay,” said Lucie. “And it was worth it. It was a great example of animal communication.”

  “Our homework’s really done now,” said Kate.

  “And I have the nose to prove it,” said Lucie.

  5

  Snip! Snip!

  Before they got home, the dogs found a hiding spot and changed back into girls.

  “Let’s go to my house,” said Kate.

  When they walked in, Kate’s mom was putting icing flowers on a pink layer cake. Her job was baking cookies, cakes, and pies that were sold at the farmers’ market and at Didi’s Bakery.

  At the same time, she was talking on the phone.

  “I bet I know who she’s talking to,” Kate said to Lucie.